Be Inspired! Column Archives

as seen in Positvely Naperville Newspaper, Authentic Woman Magazine or Inspire! Ministry for women Newsletter

I Wish I Had Said...

by Barbara Dwyer

I had a screaming conversation about Christ’s resurrection on St. Patrick’s Day.  I was screaming because I was at Quigley’s Pub enjoying the annual corned beef and cabbage plate along with hundreds of nearly intoxicated Kiss-Me-I’m-Irish lads and lassies.  The volume inside the tent was loud.  My husband and I were chomping away when some friends showed up and decided to join us.

After two beers my friend, knowing I’m a Seminarian, confessed he had “a hard time buying this business about the resurrection”.  If only I had been more prepared for this opening.  I expected he would be more inclined to talk about golf, mutual friend updates or college basketball. He is a born and bred Catholic so I was taken off guard by this announcement.  You see I have never really questioned the resurrection so I clumsily stumbled through the conversation. 

Here is what I wish I had said.  When you first hear about the resurrection it may take some time before you comprehend this amazing story.  Just like Jesus’ disciples, you may pass through three stages of belief.  At first, like Peter and John (Jesus' closest companions) you may think it’s a fairy tale, impossible to believe. Then, also like them, you may run to check out the facts but still be puzzled by what happened.  I think about the face a dog makes when it hears something it can’t identify.  I imagine that cock-headed, ear-raised, confused puppy-dog look is exactly how the Disciples reacted when they first encountered the risen Christ. They might have even let out a little yelp of, "huh"?  Again, just like Jesus’ best friends, its only when each of us actually encounters Jesus personally that accepting the fact of his resurrection is possible. 

I wish I had suggested my friend personally look for Jesus which is all the confirmation he really needs.  He’ll find Jesus by reading and pondering the scriptures or earnestly praying not by agonizing in his head over this resurrection question.

Another aspect I find amazing about the resurrection story is that those who first encountered the risen Christ were women.  Women, the marginalized members of society were who Jesus chose to greet first.  Given his time on earth that shouldn’t be surprising.  It makes me feel honored to be a woman whom Jesus clearly held in high regard.

Sr. Karen Nykiel, O.S.B., at Inspire’s April 16th luncheon, will directly address the importance of the socially disconnected nameless women in the historical drama that brings us to the Kingdom of God.  

On which side of the resurrection will you find me?  I’m on the side of the empty tomb.  The cross fulfilled the miraculous bloody blessing of forgiving my sins, of wiping my dirty slate clean.  But it doesn’t end there. You see, it is in our Saviour’s resurrection that we are reconciled to him.  Not just forgiven, reconciled.  The resurrection provides the ultimate eternal hope and promise of a future.  He conquered death, the final hurdle, providing the sweet assurance that we are headed for redemption. 

He is Risen! Alleluia!

A Future and a Hope

by Barbara Dwyer

On the cover of the latest Oprah Magazine is a feature article titled "How to Get What You Really Want This Year".  That’s a good question…what do I really want this year?  If you read the assorted articles the answer becomes clear; you should want to be richer, skinnier, and happier so you can live your best life.  Oh really?

Let me ask you this, would you rather just skip around the surface of life which gets eroded by time, pushed back by prevailing winds or drowned out by all the noise, or go deeply to the root of your best life?  It is far more satisfying to embrace the core of your purpose (the place where you can be nourished) than hungrily looking for your next happiness fix. 

In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians he wrote.  “…it's not popular wisdom, the fashionable wisdom of high-priced experts that will be out-of-date in a year or so. God's wisdom is something mysterious that goes deep into the interior of his purposes. You don't find it lying around on the surface. It's not the latest message, but more like the oldest—what God determined as the way to bring out his best in us, long before we ever arrived on the scene. The experts of our day haven't a clue about what this eternal plan is… No one's ever seen or heard anything like this.  Never so much as imagined anything quite like it— What God has arranged for those who love him.” 1 Cor 2:9 [MSG]

Taking the time to behold the purpose God had planned for you is quite different than what the popular media suggests.  The popular self-help gurus will tell you to seize control, go out and make it happen, push ahead, find your happy place, and take back your power.   Our Lord asks us to first, surrender to him.

You just can’t imagine what God has arranged for you who love him!  Paul knew and wanted to tell everyone the Good News.  But even before him, God’s prophet Jeremiah spoke saying, “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:10 [MSG]

I’m No Picasso

By Barbara Dwyer

I’m still quite amazed at the Christmas gift my husband gave me.  I know, that was weeks ago and everyone is tired of thinking about Christmas, especially our neighbors to the west who will be fined for having their outdoor Christmas decorations up after February 24.  

Anyway, my husband bought me a professional easel, a set of oil paints, brushes, painting knives, canvases and the other miscellany that accompanies such artistic expression.  It brought a tear to my eye and a moment from my childhood I will always remember.  I was seven years old and Santa gave me my first easel.  He brought one to my best friend and neighbor, Beth.  What luck!  We spent endless hours, even years, painting pictures.  When our water colors were dried up we would prop our coloring books up on the easel; and color away.  Later I remember coating our freshly stretched canvases with Gesso and painting with abandon. 

I wanted to be an art teacher when I grew up, but decided in college I just didn’t believe I had the talent.  It was a self esteem issue.  Since then the only thing I paint are rooms, and an occasional bird house when I’m bored.  I dearly love the smell of fresh paint, so my home is getting painted regularly.  One of my friends teases me saying I’m the “paintingest” person she knows.  

But now I have more than a 2” brush and a 9” roller to which I must contend.  I’m staring at real artist’s paints and a husband who is giving me more than encouragement to let my creative side loose.   Today the blank canvas is humbling, and more than a little intimidating. 

Here’s the thing.  I have some old self-talk to conquer before I can let “loose”.  Maybe you do too.  I easily get hung up on doing things right.  Sometimes I even keep myself from trying something new because I hate to fail.  My brother reminds me of Wayne The Great One Gretzky, who said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”   He’s right.

Until I wrote this column, one of my hidden dreams was to paint a pretty picture.  Really! It’s on my secret bucket list.   So, to move forward I affirm my creative soul, wherever it may be, and pick up my brush to begin.  I’m going to paint a picture. 

Keep Going

By Barbara Dwyer

I need a job.  It is a sentence spoken by thousands of Napervillians and millions of Americans today.  Regrettably, 140 more will be murmuring those words at the end of this school year.  In over the past year, jobless rates increased in all 50 states and the District of Columbia. The national unemployment is 10.0 up from 7.7 percent a year earlier. (BLS)  But it’s even worse in Illinois.  Our unemployment rate is 11.3%.  And, the end is not yet in sight.

When you lose your job you have lost so much more.  With it flies financial security, personal identity, confidence, dreams, and a place (other than home) to go each day.  You’ve read the stories about people who have been downsized out of their job which starts the domino effect of broken relationships, foreclosure, and hopelessness.

I think the most devastating is losing hope.  In light of all those catastrophes I still believe losing hope is the most crippling.  I was once asked what is the worst thing a person could experience, to which I responded, hopelessness.  It trumps rage, grief, humiliation, fear.

Just imagine what that might really be like; absolutely no expectation of good or success plus being invulnerable to a remedy or a cure.  Cut off from all possibilities.  Hope on the other hand looks forward, not blindly, but forward nonetheless.    Life is filled with detours, dead ends and a few crashes.  Who ever got the idea that life was supposed to be the proverbial bowl of cherries is living in La-La Land. 

Before you get up from the newspaper and persevere at whatever has you stymied, read on for the lessons of those who have known trials, known war, and persevered:

“Courage brother, do not stumble, though thy path be dark as night;

There is a star to guide the humble, Trust in God and do the right.

Let the road be dark and dreary, and its end far out of sight,

Face it bravely, strong or weary. Trust in God, and do the right.”

General Norman Schwarzkopf

“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

Perhaps Sir Winston Churchill has the most succinct advice of all, “If you're going through hell, keep going.”

How Do You Like Your Eggs, Scrambled or Fried?

By Barbara Dwyer

This publication has turned the page in its growth and rebranded itself as Authentic Woman Magazine.  That title is a lot to live up to.  Being authentic isn’t easy.  Just ask Maggie Carpenter, the fickle Runaway Bride played by Julia Roberts.  Maggie realizes her good-girl, people-pleasing nature has left her void of any real self-knowledge.  She doesn’t even know what kinds of eggs she likes to eat.  In one comically powerful scene she systematically cooks and tastes every kind of egg dish she can think of.  Scrambled, fried, poached, 3-minute, and Benedict, to name a few; she tried them all only to discover she did in fact have a favorite.  This simple revelation was the breakthrough she needed to begin the process of discovering her authentic self.

To be authentic is to make your soul visible.  Authenticity is a meaningful way to live in the world while being faithful to your own internal character, values and ideas.  Admittedly, that’s a big statement and not easy to do.  There are pressures to conform, to buy certain products, to be loyal to a particular political party, to worship in a distinct way, to wear the right clothes, live at the right address, have the right title or vacation at the right place. 

If you wonder about your own level of living authentically, here is a hint to find out how authentic you are.  Think about all the times in a week you think , say or react to the word “should”.  I should to this, you should do that.  She shouldn’t do this, or she shouldn’t do the other thing.  Shoulds are strategic ways of controlling others and being controlled by others.  To recapture your authentic self from the grips of this power, break free and declare, “Don’t should on me!”

Ask yourself this, on what foundation is your authenticity built?  Understanding your God-given purpose, appreciating your talents and gifts is impossible without self-awareness.  When the winds blow, and they do, if your foundation isn’t firm you will be blown over, or like Maggie Carpenter make poor choices.

Inspire! Ministry for Women offers a solution through the use of Vision Board Workshops.  You will get a better, more firm foundation for your future, in one strategic morning workshop.  You will experience a renewed sense of calling, appreciation for your purpose and vision for a more authentic 2010.  Take the time to build your foundation now!

So, What’s On Your Mind Today?

by Barbara Dwyer

It’s old news, really.  Shakespeare said it, the Apostle Paul said it, author Stephen Covey said it, and so did my Mother.  You are what you think.  Shakespeare was more elegant and said it this way, “We become like that which we turn our attentions towards.”   Apostle Paul warned, in his letter to the Romans, “Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the Spirit.” 

So, what’s on your mind today?  It’s easy to be weighed down with the cares and concerns of daily living.  Getting through your list of things to do, managing schedules, paying the bills, reconnecting with a loved one, holding a grudge, finding quality time, learning to trust again, cooking, cleaning … and of course this list is endless.   

Our minds can become so cluttered with the noise of this life that life in the Spirit is drowned out by the relentless din.  The Spirit is talking to you, can you hear?  Or, is the soundtrack of your life too loud?   

I was driving to meet a new friend.  I had never been to her home before but had, what I thought were, good directions.  I had the music cranked up in my car and was enjoying tunes when I realized I was turned around.  Trying to drive, read the directions, read street signs all with the music blaring unnerved me.  Inside the car was so loud I couldn’t hear myself think.  I turned the music off and instantly I shifted from being agitated to focused.  

When the noise inside my life gets so loud that I can no longer hear the Spirit’s voice I have to turn off the racket.  When unpleasant thoughts or situations plague my mind I must turn them over to my Savior who has already won the victory for me.  When I take the time to focus on Christ my burden is lifted, just like He promised.  Yes, just like He promised.